An apology made sense the primary time round. You made a mistake. You felt horrible about it. You apologized.
I selected to forgive you underneath the belief you had been going to make amends. I selected to forgive you since you promised me it was by no means going to occur once more. I selected to forgive you as a result of I assumed we’d have the ability to put the error up to now and transfer onto the longer term.
An apology makes much less and fewer sense the extra instances you must make it. Should you discovered your lesson the primary time – such as you mentioned you probably did – then you definitely wouldn’t have made the identical mistake a second time. Historical past wouldn’t have repeated itself. We wouldn’t be on this scenario proper now.
An apology doesn’t make sense at this cut-off date. You would possibly assume I’m going to forgive you once more since that’s what occurred the primary time, however in contrast to you, I don’t make the identical errors twice in a row. I repair my errors. I modify my behaviors. And this time, the habits I’ve to vary is associating with you.
I’m not calling your apology a fraud. I’m not claiming you’re mendacity while you say you would like you by no means damage me. I’m merely stating the truth that you’ve mentioned all of this earlier than and it didn’t cease you from hurting me over again.
I contemplate myself a forgiving particular person – however I’ll by no means be a gullible particular person. I’ll by no means keep in a scenario that’s unhealthy for me. I’ll by no means stick with somebody who has confirmed they will damage me, time and time once more, regardless of the guarantees they’ve made me.
I’m glad you’re taking responsibly in your actions. I’m glad you’re admitting you tousled. However an apology isn’t going to work this time round. An apology isn’t going to remove what you set me by. It’s not going to erase the nights I cried deep into my pillowcase. It’s not going to erase the scars left on my coronary heart. It’s not going to do a rattling factor for me. All it’s going to do is make you’re feeling higher about your self.
Now that you just’ve apologized, you most likely really feel such as you’ve carried out all you are able to do. You most likely really feel like I’m the unhealthy man for selecting to stroll away. You most likely really feel such as you’re the one getting the unhealthy finish of the deal since you mentioned you had been sorry. You mentioned the entire ‘proper issues’.
However I don’t know what good an apology is when there’s a excessive probability you’re going to repeat the identical mistake over and over. Phrases aren’t sufficient to persuade me to remain. It’s essential to again up your apologies together with your actions. It’s essential to make a change to your habits. In case your apologies imply nothing, then there’s no purpose for me to remain. I refuse to get my coronary heart damaged a 3rd time. I refuse to decrease my requirements once I deserve a lot greater than this.